I’m not incapable of suspension of disbelief. A two hour movie that spans several years doesn’t bother me. I even kinda liked the flying luck-dragon in The Neverending Story, but that’s not the point. If you have a TV show called Friday Night Lights, why on earth would you schedule it for Tuesday night? Yes I can use the TV guide. Yes I can look things up on the Internet. But do you want to put an extra obstacle in front of a lazy ass like me who just wants to watch some mediocre TV?
It’s a show about small-town Friday night football that gets aired on a Tuesday. I get that. But what night is Monday Night Football on? Case closed.
Yahoo News?is reporting that “a Little Rock man whose SUV was cut off in traffic was arrested after he allegedly shot at a motorist with a crossbow following a brief chase.” It’s an interesting way to express anger, and one that you wouldn’t expect to see outside of the Southern States. In a surprising twist, the suspect was drinking beer rather than moonshine. Do all the normal people in Arkansas (and yes, there are a lot of them) get annoyed when the drunken yahoos perpetuate the negative stereotype? I know I cringe a bit when Canadians give maple syrup or fur hats as gifts.
A TV producer has contacted me looking for people who have been threatened, harassed, berated or otherwise abused by a collection agency. Have you been mistreated in such a way? Does the prospect of some sweet televised justice excite you? If so, send me your information (use my mailman account) and I will pass it on to my contact. Who knows, you may end up sticking it to those jerks who have been sticking it to you for years.
If you can’t swim, don’t go on Survivor. If you’re afraid of spiders, stay off of Fear Factor. If you’re an idiot, don’t fake your way onto Jeopardy. You’re just embarrassing yourself and taking the opportunity away from more worthy contestants. My old university roommate could list to-the-penny prices of Rice-a-Roni for the years 1982 through to 1999 (adjusted to 1999 dollars) then add up the total and know exactly how far it was above or below the price of a Sunbeam four-slice toaster. But he never got his shot at Price is Right glory because some Hawaiian-shirt wearing dude who can’t guess the price of a Chevy Malibu within $10,000 keeps getting the order to ‘come on down.’ Oh the humanity.
Many of you laughed at me when I put ski masks on the great big list of things that make me angry. Many of you disagreed with my stance that they are a public menace with no redeeming qualities. Many of you thought my campaign to have them renamed “robber masks” was a waste of time. But at least one public official has joined the fight against ski masks (albeit a full year after the campaign began). Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton has proposed stiffer sentences for criminals who wear ski masks when committing crimes. The chief proposes adding two years or 25 percent of the sentence, whichever is more, for wearing a mask. Thanks to Eric for flagging this